New 2016 whatsapp status dp's, Funny Statusin: 100 New status
Hope you are having a good time reading these funny Whatsapp messages. You can even use these on Facebook status updates. A good way to go with them is to put up one status update on Facebook and a different status update on Whatsapp. This is because you may have friends who have already read your Whatsapp status and may just scroll without liking your post on Facebook because they've already read it.
I wish Whatsapp would charge some subscribers for being stupid and pay others for being awesome.
Hey pimples, if you
choose to stay and occupy my face I think you ought to pay rent too.
Upgrade your cool karma to such a level that you don't have to explain to your grand kids. Their history teacher will.
There are a lot of fishes in the sea. Don't you go down until you find a mermaid.
Confidence is like the ace of cards. If you believe that you're the coolest so will everyone else.
Remember that girls like a guy to give them a manly hug. That one arm hug is for sissies.
A wise man once said...nothing. He kept quite and avoided a deadly war with his girlfriend.
I tell everyone that I cook really well. When I begin even the fire alarm starts ringing with happiness.
Mom and dad...I heard money doesn't grow on plants. That is exactly why I ask for it from you.
When impressing women, money is the key. If it grew on trees, they wouldn't even mind dating a gorilla.
I made a wish and asked Santa Claus to get me the hottest person. Next morning I woke up in a package.
Statistics say that there is a 99.99% chance that you're really cool. Act like it.
Growing up has nothing to do with age. It just means you need to improve your swag quotient.
We live in a cool generation where you may be flowing down the river but first "Let me take a selfie."
Date a girl who looks good on a black and white driving license. Challenge accepted!
The method to drinking chilled beer is to see if is still breathing, if not then you need to proceed with CPR.
Bro tip: When you do something wrong and she says, "Its ok". Its not ok, don't do it. Its a trap.
No matter how funny it may seem play cool and classy. Keep it to one lol or one smiley per text.
Smart people know that before drinking or getting drunk, its better to delete all numbers than to drunk text.
No its not the cool breeze you're feeling, I with my cool attitude just walked by your house.
This Whatsapp account has been temporarily suspended for being way too awesome.
Some imaginary stories start with the words, "Once upon a time..." Others start with, "If I get elected...I will"
Wow girl, do
you work for a keyboard company? (No WHY?!) Because you're just my TYPE.
Q. What is the difference between a girlfriend and a girl friend?
A. The friend zone.
Hey do you by any
chance have an eraser? I want to rub off your past and begin our lovely future.
A toothbrush complained about its job until it met a toilet paper. Always be positive.
ALL MY FRIENDS THINK I'M SHOUTING, BUT ITS JUST MY CAPS LOCK...HELP!!
I sent my girlfriends application to NASA. She said she needs more space.
The best way to get rid of your office problems is to blame the guy who can't speak English.
Sometimes my internet is so slow that it could be faster to just visit the Google office.
So what if I'm single? 99% of socks are too but they don't complain or cry about it.
Well everything here on this planet is expensive, but every year I travel around the sun for free.
Sometimes I wish I could be you just to know what it feels like to hang out with an awesome person.
I apologize for those crazy texts that you received from me. My Whatsapp was really drunk.
Lazy Rule #426585
We are way too lazy to be wasting time reading that rule number.
A recent survey found out that females who are a little fat live longer lives than men who mistakenly mention it.
Stalking means 2 individuals go out for a lovely evening walk but only one of them knows it.
I have a hidden talent within me and everyday I try to find it.
Pain is one of the ways that nature tells man "No. Don't do it."
Painkillers are man's way of saying, "Just watch me."
I don't call people fat, I just like to say that they are easier to see.
Son: Dad what does it feel like to have a hard-working, loving and obedient son in the whole wide world?
Dad: Not sure son, you should probably ask your grand father.
Most boys have a song on their mobile phone which makes them wonder, "Is it gay if I have this song right now?"
They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away but I think that an apple a day can keep anybody away as long as you throw it hard enough.
Don't spend a lot of days being guilty if you happen to step on someone. Mario made a career out of it.
Don't ever laugh on your husbands choices because after all he chose you.
I told the tiger, "Please don't eat me, I have a girlfriend & we're in love. Go eat her."
A day will come when they will arrest us all for having downloaded music illegal. I hope that day they separate us according to the kind of music we like.
You must be full of chocolate within because every time we meet, you're always so kind and sweet.
Sometimes when I go out for a run and my heart keeps thumping I can almost hear it call your name.
Seeing your beautiful smile made me fall for you but the love in your heart for me is why I'll always be with you.
When you part your lips into a smile, my life gets brighter than the stars in the night sky.
I've seen many romantic movies but nothing comes close to the way we started our romance.
I love how you keep smiling for me even when you are tired or unhappy. That is what I call true love.
I want to grow old with you and keep you in my heart until the end of my life.
Many friends come and go and many relationships begin and end but you are someone who will always be in my heart.
You maybe far away from me but distance will never matter as long as there is trust, honesty and love in our relationship.
I had heard that when you find true love you will never need anything else. I now understand what that means!
Read some more love quotes and romantic Whatsapp status
Best heart break quotes
No matter what I do its never enough. That's what happens when love fades away from a relationship.
What did I deserve to have such sorrow and anguish in my life? All I did was to fall in love.
You're a player and playing with people's heart is your second nature. Its my fault that I loved you so much.
After everything has been said and done, I still don't know how will life ever be normal again.
The worst thing that can happen to anyone is to see their loved one in the arms of another.
I believed that you had fallen for me but now I realize that I was just another option for you.
I dreamt about you last night and was smiling until I woke up and realized that you don't love me any more.
I try my best to control my emotions but my heart aches a lot and my eyes tear up.
Many people don't understand that they have a diamond with them until they loose it.
Now looking back I wish I never met you in the first place.
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Inspirational Whatsapp Status
Take charge of your finances and your job, don't let a boss decide it for you.
In order to sparkle and shine like a diamond, you need to be chiseled and tested like one.
One day when I look back at everything that has been done I want to say - I've met success at last!
This year I'm focused on my goals and with determination I will conquer them.
I don't mind failing or falling as long as I can can learn and get up again to succeed.
Work so hard and so smartly that wherever you go, people recognize you and wish to speak with you.
Opportunities come to those who look for them with honest eyes.
You don't need to get in a war of words with your enemies. Let your work speak for itself.
Don't pay attention to the nay Sayers. Doers should not be bothered by people who think it can't be done.
My eyes are fixed on victory and my mind will rest only when it knows that success has been achieved...