Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it’s wide use three fingers, make sure it’s wet and rub up and down. Yep that’s how you wash a cup.
You Don’t Know Something? Google It. You Don’t Know Someone? Facebook It. You Can’t Find Something? Mom!
Do You Want To Go Out With Me? (A) Yes (B) A (C) B.
I Have Good News And Bad News To Tell You. The Bad News? I Have No Good News. And The Good News? I Have No Bad News.
Open Books, Not Legs. Blow Minds, Not Guy[/quote]
People say everything happens for a reason. So when I punch you in the face, remember I have a reason. 😉
My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.
God is really creative , i mean ..just look at me 😛
Just saw the most smartest person when i was in front of the mirror 😛
Someone on his status “Sleeping” …since 3 Days! He’s Probably dead.
A man asks a trainer in the gym: “I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?” Trainer replies: “Use the ATM”
I will marry the girl, who look pretty in her Adhaar card
Virginity is like a soap bubble, one touch and it is gone.
Always respects your self-respect and be proud.
Save Water, Drink Beer!!
Everything is rightly confused.
Marriage is the main cause for divorce.
The most important Shareholder in your life is you.
Rules are made to be break.
If you can’t the thing, Move on: D
Only brain is works more…if you use it more.
Do what you Love, does is matter what are you doing?
Only you can work better.
Why 90% girls are stupid- By Stupid Girl.
Brains are wonderful, why don’t have everyone.
Trust me you will dance- Alcohol
I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
80% boys have a girlfriend and rest have a brain..
3 mistakes of everyone’s life–Facebook, Twitter and Whatsapp
If you smile when no one is around, you really mean it :)
Everyone wants to park their vehicles in shade but no one wants to grow trees.
Is it vodka o’clock yet?
Keep calm, stay happy.
I don’t get drunk, i get awesome.
Great power comes with great electricity bills.
Do you still hate me?? I don’t care!!
Life is onetime offers use it well.
Life is short smile while you still have teeth.
Follow your heart but take your brain with you.
Enjoy your life–there’s is plenty of time to be dead.
If Monday had a face, I would punch it.
I’m too shy at first but once I’m comfortable with you get ready for some crazy shit.
Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed.
Stop thinking too much, it’s all right not to know all the answers.
No one is the reason of your happiness expect you yourself.
Silent people have the craziest minds.
Marriage means silent suicide.
I fell in love at first sight. I should have looked twice.
All my life a thought air was free…Until I bought a bag of chips.
People said to follow your dreams so i went back to bed.
On the internet you can be anything you want, it’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.
3 AM my cell is ringing…hey there you asleep?? No I’m Skydiving.
I am a ninja, no, you are not. Did you see me do that? Do what? “Exactly”.
I like when you smile, but I love it when I’m the reason.
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
You have the perfect face for radio.
Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.
Well I could agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
You look like a before picture.
I was pro life before I met you.
Yeah you’re really pretty, pretty stupid
I m not special, I am just a LIMITED EDITION.
There are 3 types of people in the world- vegetarian, non-veterinarian & Tuesday Saturday
There is only 1 thing 2 do, 3 words for you – I Love You
Don’t tell people your dreams, SHOW THEM!
Borrow money from a pessimist- – he doesn’t expect it back.
Keep Smiling & One day Life will tired of upsetting you :)
Scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal my status 😛
Our marriage is like a workshop. I work and my wife shops.
I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes CLOSED :)
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened.
when i was BORN i was so surprised, I didn’t talk for a year & a half.
“You compliment someone for their mustaches, & suddenly she isn’t your friend anymore.
Do not be afraid to step on people… Mario made a career from it.
Never laugh at your wife’s choices… you’re one of them …
I just want to die young as late as possible.
If you’re talking abt me behind mah back….. go ahead this is the best angle to kiss mah ass!
80% of boys have girlfriends.. Rest 20% are having brain.
When everything comes your way.. Then you are on the wrong way.
she’s so fake, if you look behind her neck. I bet it says “Made in china”.
I drink to make other people interesting.
If at first, you don’t succeed..Keep flushing.
Save water drink beer.
Virginity is not dignity, It is just lack of opportunity.
Not all men are fools, Some stay bachelor.
Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.
His story is History, My Story is Mystery.
Phones are better than girlfriends, At least we can switch off.
Smile today, tomorrow could be worse.
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
If you don’t succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.
Stop worrying about the world ending today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.
Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter… people the opposite.
Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn’t contain any calories.
I love my job only when I’m on vacation
Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up.
Never test how deep the water is with both feet.
The richer you get, the more expensive happiness becomes.
Parachute for sale, used once, never opened!!!